pursuing righteousness

freedom.

2011-12-02T08:31:00.000-08:00

two blog posts in one week? unheard of... i know.

as you might have been able to tell from the last post, the last few weeks have been a struggle for me. its in times like this when I find myself questioning God and when I seek Him for the answers to these questions, I find Him asking questions of myself.

i was challenged the other day with John 15:1-11 and through it God helped reveal some of these questions of myself. the main theme here is abiding in Christ and its through this that we are fruitful. and God as the Vinedresser prunes out the branches that aren't producing fruit. i then had to ask myself...what kind of fruit have I been producing? and in v.11 we are told that its through this we can experiencing the joy of abiding in Christ. I haven't felt the joy of abiding in Christ for sometime and it made me take a deep look inside and examine what kind of fruit I've been producing lately.

this brought me to some study of the fruits of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5. its so much easier to identify the fruits of the flesh in my life than the fruits of the Spirit -- which seems to be a pretty direct result of me not abiding much in Christ. but the thing that floored me is Paul's precursor to identify the different fruits in Galatians 5:13 when he says this:

"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

we've been called to freedom -- but lately I've been using that freedom to give an opportunity for the flesh instead of using that freedom to abide in Jesus and be more in tune with the fruits of the Spirit to serve through love.

its not easy being pruned by God - but its through this that we realize the freedom God gives us and how through this we can flourish in Him.

confessions of a nomad

2011-11-28T11:41:00.000-08:00

another month in the books brings a whole list of new changes, challenges, and life lessons.

the word nomad has been used to describe us in the journey we have been on this past year. seems fitting...especially considering the times we find ourselves in right now.

we knew when we moved into the place that we have been living in since labor day that this would be a 3 month arrangement before we would be moving on to another place to live. you'd think that i would be used to our plans being completely shaken up before another change to our already un-normal life, but it still brings stress and a whole lot of uncertainty.

we thought we would be moving one more time and be done with it during this internship...but plans fell through and there has just been a ton of uncertainty to what the rest of our time here might look like. but it's at times like this when I have seen small glimpses of the Church being what the Church is supposed to be...and I find a brand new hope in Christ. people being willing to have their lives interrupted to help make a difference in our lives. it's times like these when I wholeheartedly believe that the Church is the hope of the world. and if we could see the Church do this for those who aren't apart of the Church -- communities, cities, states, countries, the world would be turned upside down. despite our circumstances--i cling to the hope i have in Christ.

but it's still hard.

this time of year seems much harder when you don't have a place to call home. we had a taste of home this last week when mom and dad got to come out and visit for a week...but i think it left me wanting a little bit more of "home".

so this nomad still has hope in His Savior, the love and comfort of an amazing wife, family, and friends, and a roof over his head (even if it's not always in the same place), so I have to believe that everything is going to be ok.

for the good

2011-10-31T09:34:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling lately internally with being content.

As I've mentioned on here since we've been in AZ, is that I firmly believe that God lead us here to teach us that God truly is a provider. And when we rely on him, he will provide even if its not the way that we would expect it.

Well I think God's trying to teach us something about what it looks like to try and limit what He can do to provide. Long story short -- we have to move out of the place we live in now at the end of the month, a family has stepped up and offered us free housing but its really far from the church and a pretty good road trip for Candice to be able to drive to work everyday too. We have a place lined up to live -- but we'll be spending a large portion of our budget on gas costs now. I realize that God is providing a place for us to live...but it's hard to see ahead as to how we'll make it. Without doing some radical changes to our budget...or unless more support starts coming in. Why am I struggling to be content with what God is providing for us? I think I'm just making excuses for my own comfort and convenience. Plus, I think my pride is playing way too big of a factor into this. I want to be a good husband and provide for my wife...but I want to try to submit to God and what he's providing for us.

I don't even know if this makes any sense...but I've been wrestling a lot with it lately.

In the wake of this...Paul's words from Romans 8:28 have been coming up a lot lately. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and who have been called according to His purpose."

Whether it be in my own issues with being content, in times of feeling discouraged, or getting to know a 15-year old girl from our ministry who has been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer...I know that God is at work through all of this...and He is going to be glorified through all of this.

No matter where we are, or what we are doing...I want to be able to radiate God's love and redemption into everything we do by knowing that whatever happens, God is working in the midst of it for good -- His good. I just want to be a vessel.

(p.s. - please don't mistake any of my thoughts above as a roundabout plea for more financial support. i'm just trying to be transparent here...but if you'd want to partner with our ministry here in AZ...please contact me...i'd love to share with you more.)

not the righteous

2011-09-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

Mark 2:15-17 - "And it happened that He was reclining at the table in his house, and many tax collectors and sinners were dining with Jesus and His disciples; for there were man of them, and they were following Him. When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, "Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners?" And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

When you move to a new place to start working at a church, I guess its pretty natural that you start spending a lot of your time with people from the church. I feel really blessed to be associated with such a great community that is a huge influence in this city for pointing people to Jesus, but I was really cut to the heart by Jesus' words in my reading today.

Just like during my time at MCC, I'm constantly surrounded by believers. I think it can be addicting to be around believers all the time because it helps encourage and reaffirm us in what we believe and what we already know. But when was the last time I was the only believer in the room? When was the last time I willingly put myself in a situation where I had to stand firm in what I believe in and share Jesus with others?

After reading this passage, I had to think about what "tax collectors and sinners" I had in my life right now...and I couldn't. This breaks my heart.

I want to challenge myself to find people who need Jesus. And the old words of a good friend remind me, that I need to be in prayer for a spirit of boldness and not just praying for these kind of opportunities to arise.

And if you happen to come across this, ask yourself the same question. Who are the tax collecors and sinners in your life, and what are you doing to point them to Christ?

"I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

the desert(ed) life

2011-08-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Once again...I have deserted this blog. But I've come back once again in an effort to articulate what's happening in my life and to attempt to process what God is teaching me through my current life situation.

For those of you that live under a rock, I've graduated and received a bachelor's degree from THE Manhattan Christian College. As a result of this I've become a part of the 27% of American citizens who have obtained a bachelor's degree from a college or university. You'd figure that by becoming a part of this upper echelon of learned individuals that people would have been pounding down my doorstep to offer me a job getting paid to do what I got my degree in. At least this is what I thought would happen (maybe because it was promised to us when we first started college), but I'm learning a lot lately that what I think, doesn't really matter, and submitting myself to the plan of the Creator is really all that matters.

With that, we did have an opportunity that we ended up taking. I really felt a strong sense of calling from God to pursue an internship at CCV in their high school department, and to be completely and utterly honest, I didn't want to go. I may have had an outward front that I wanted to be there but at first, I didn't want to move out to CCV and be a stereotype of an MCC grad. I didn't want to go so far away from everything that we'd ever really known for so long. But in the process of interviewing and visiting, I really felt God calling me to examine what it is that I need as opposed to what I want.

And God, having the sense of humor that he does, opened up the door for an internship that pays a salary of $0 a year with no benefits. and we went for it. Only knowing a handful of people, and deciding to rely completely on God as our source of income, as our source of comfort, and our source of everything. It makes me sick to think that in the life I have lived up to this point, I've been so saturated in the culture that I've grown up in, and the churches and communities that I've been a part of that I've never truly needed God to continue to live my life. I've never needed to ask God to literally help us put food on the table. I've never needed to ask God for some sort of income for the unexpected broken windshield. I've never needed God to actually put a roof over our head. I had never really needed God in my life except for my own realization that I was a sinner who needed the blood of Christ to redeem me.

God called us to the desert, to this church, and to these people to help show us that, and its one of the greatest lessons I've learned throughout my entire life. I've already witnessed so much life change here. Whether it's the life change that's occurred in my marriage and having to truly rely on my wife in the tough times and her pointing me to God. It's the life change in the students who we serve every weekend who have a desire like none other to turn win this Valley for Christ. And it's the life change in me, where God has taught me to completely humble myself and my own wants and desires of security and notoriety, and focus more on developing a servant's heart so that he can become greater through all of this.

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

P.S. - God has provided in all of the things that I mentioned earlier, and most of that is in part to all of you. You have stepped up in faith and helped provide for us so God can continue to use us to help make an impact in Phoenix. If you read this and have given financially or have been praying for us during our time here, you have shown us what it means to be a part of the body of Christ, and we are truly truly thankful.

guess who's back? back again?

2011-04-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

this blog is a real love/hate relationship. i love having the opportunity to write and express my thoughts and interacting with others, but i absolutely hate taking the time to write everything down in one sitting to get my thoughts across.

anyways, here I am, back again.

life is happening.

since my last blog, I got married. being married has challenged me in so many ways to not only do everything I can to be a better husband to my wife, but to also strive to have the love of Christ exemplified in our marriage. I love being able to come home to my wife every night and just know that she's mine, and that I get to experience all the phases of the rest of our lives together. with that being said, being married challenges me to constantly be evaluating myself to see how I can continue to grow daily in my walk with God, and to challenge Candice to continue to grow closer to God and how we can place God in the center of everything in our marriage. I feel like I have a lot of work to do, but I'm thankful for a God and a wife who love me unconditionally, are patient with me, and look at me with potential, and that makes me want to be a better man.

I'm also 36 days away from graduating from college. My senior paper is finished and graded (passed!), and I only have a few more assignments to wrap up in some of my classes before I receive a college degree. I'm so excited for the next phase of our life, but because of that excitement, I'm struggling to be present and to focus on where God has me right here and now. I'm thankful for friends who are constantly challenging me to make the most of the rest of my time here in manhattan, and its these friendships that I'm not ready to move on from. But I'm so encouraged knowing that each and every person that am close with and that I "do life with" here in manhattan are going to change the world in a radical way for the kingdom of Jesus Christ. whether it be here in manhattan, wichita, kansas city, oklahoma, chicago, portland, arizona, california, or literally to the ends of the earth, I have friends who will change this world for the better and I'm so greatful for the opportunity to know them.

summary: i'm back blogging, i love my God, i love my wife, i'm about to graduate, God is moving, i love my friends.

learn(ing)

2010-09-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

this summer (at one point), i had a strong desire to become a better student/learner. maybe its because some of the people that i worked with knew so much about things that i wish i knew about, but now that i'm back in the thick of it, it's so hard to keep focused on what i'm supposed to be learning when there is so much going on all around me. i think i'm learning a lot, just maybe not always about what i'm paying to learn about...that's ok, right?

i think the biggest thing that i'm learning is that too often i try to micro-manage everything in my life, so i can feel in control. whether it be school, work, fiance, friends, or whatever i like to know that i'm on top of things, so i'm not surprised i guess. but there is one area of life that has uncertainty written all over it, and it stems from this question which i have been asked more times than i can count since after this summer, "what are your plans after you graduate?"

right now i have no answer to this question. i know that i'm about to get married to the most amazing person i know, and i couldn't be happier, but after i get that piece of paper in may, i have no idea. i'm learning that i need to be content with that because God will reveal himself to us in His time, even if it might be driving us (mainly me) crazy.

i'm also learning that God is revealing himself to me in so many ways that i tend to take for granted. i've been witnessing this a lot in the people that i surround myself with. so to my fiance, family, or my friends...i see God's goodness through you, and am learning so much about who He is, through all of you. thank you.

different

2010-08-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

things are different.

not bad, just different. i'm in a familiar setting surrounded by people that i love, doing what i love doing, but i just feel...different.

i realize how vague this all seems, but i think it's because i just realized it and haven't even really had the opportunity to process it. now that i think of it, ever since i finished my internship in vegas i have felt this way. and it's probably because i haven't taken much time to just sit and think and process what happened during this amazing summer where God opened up my eyes to so much. or i haven't really taken the time to be in thought, prayer, and meditation about what's about to change in my life. ever since i got back to manhattan i feel like i've been going a million miles an hour. this all came to a screeching halt when my grandpa died almost two weeks ago. i felt horrible, because i was so consumed and busy with everything going on here, that i didn't even really process it until i showed up at his grave. and it keeps catching up with me at certain moments that completely catch me off guard, but at the same time it's a beautiful reminder of the hope i have of eternity with my Creator, and i'm insanely jealous and excited for my grandpa right now, in Heaven with His creator, and not having to suffer and endure any more pain.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who he has given us." - Romans 5:1-5

I read this at my grandpa's funeral, and it brings so much comfort in this time.

winding

2010-07-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

2 more weeks, 2 more sermons, 2 more visits from loved ones, 1 week of outreach, and so much more before my time here in las vegas is done.

i've only been here like 9 weeks, but it's been a really great experience that i can tell was a complete God thing. He has been stretching me and teaching me so much during my time here, and it's a good feeling when you know that what you've been doing was completely God's doing the entire time. i've learned so much about relationships, discipline, ministry, people, and myself during this entire summer. great stuff (or as the people at Canyon Ridge would say...definitely yay God stuff).

tomorrow, my parents are coming to visit for a few days which i'm excited to show them what i've been doing all summer, and i'm really excited for them to actually get a bit of a vacation. we never took many vacations when i was growing up because of all the soccer tournaments i had, and if anyone deserves a vacation it's those two. sure we're gonna do the whole las vegas tourist thing while they're here, but i'm excited about it because i haven't really been much of a tourist out here in this big, exciting city that is so worthy of touring. it's also very ironic that the weekend my parents are here, i'm preaching out of 1 Peter 2:13-25 - talking about submission and respect for authority...God, you're hilarious.

all next week, i'll be working with some amazing high school students from canyon ridge as we go to do a VBS alongside an outreach ministry here in las vegas called ClubChrist. it'll be awesome to lead them and take a step back and watch these students lead and reach out to these kids who will get to hear about Christ's love for us. yes.

then a week from tomorrow, my fiance is coming to vegas! i'm so excited to show her everything i've been doing this summer since i finally got to see what the ministry at camp war eagle is doing. i'm excited for her to meet everyone and i'm excited to show her everything, but i'm just excited to spend time with her. it's been a long summer apart from her, and luckily i'll never have to do that again. oh and the irony continues because the weekend Candice is here, i'm preaching again, this time on 1 Peter 3:1-9 - what submission looks like in a marriage between husbands and wives...seriously God, hilarious.

after all this, i'll pack up all my stuff from the casita at the Finch house that has been so amazing for me this summer, and drive back to not-so-hot, but way more humid kansas to embark on new journeys - final year of college...and marriage!

great summer.

p.s. - i've lost almost 7 pounds and its been a little over a week...let's hope it lasts over my last two weeks in vegas considering i'll be taking my parents and candice to all these great places to eat in las vegas...which consequently are not very good for you.

p.s.s. - this is my 4th blog post in one month...pretty impressive for me, we'll see if it keeps up.

end.

it all adds up

2010-07-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

so i have actually been pretty serious about this whole getting in better shape thing. i can legitimately say that this is the first time i've ever actually kept track of the stuff that goes into my body and made a conscious effort to regulate it. it's all been pretty interesting to me actually because a certain program has helped me realize the science that is involved in this process. it's called lose it! and is singlehandly the most useful app i've ever had on my iPhone (besides I am T-Pain).

basically you start by putting your height/weight/and weightloss goal. then you pick how you want to lose the weight (i.e. 1/2 lb per week, 1 lb per week, 1 1/2 per week, etc). then you can search any kind of food you could ever imagine, and it knows how many calories are in it, and you add what you eat throughout the day and it tracks your calories compared to what your intake should be if you want to acheive your goal. you can also search every single type of exercise you could ever imagine and then based on what you do it subtracts how many calories you've burned doing that exercise from your daily log. i've done really well at keeping up with this so far, and it will be interesting to see if it really equates to some actual pound droppage.

don't know who really cares to know this, but I got done writing VBS lessons early at work today, and i needed something to do....

i've also been preparing for a sermon i'm preaching next week on submission to authority (1 Peter 2:13-25). i came across some writings by Watchman Nee, and this really stuck out to me, "Christ represents submission, a perfect submission, just as God's authority is perfect authority. Today some think they know authority, but they do not know submission."

interesting stuff.

discipline revisted

2010-07-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

during the school year i wrote a devo for a pretty awesome website that you all should check out once school rolls back around (http://www.theimperishableseed.com/). it was based off of proverbs 15:32 which says: He ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. when studying this passage i had a fairly big realization that the words discipline and disciple are very similar and have the same root (i hope my english terms are correct @futurewife & @hannahbrown). and the main thing that i took away from this was the importance of the discipline that true discipleship takes, but i think i missed a major part of this.

the discipline that it takes to be truly discipled doesn't just take place in a discipleship/mentoring relationship but we must have the discipline to be discipled and challenged by God through His Word and in the other areas of our lives first. God's Word is the source, and i don't think i've ever really received all the benefits of being discipled because i've never truly and consistantly allowed God's Word to disciple me first. i think once i can start to discipline myself to root myself in God's Word, then the true discipleship will take place.

"now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable through the living and enduring word of God. For, 'All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.' And this is the word that was preached to you." - 1 Peter 1:22-25

this also means trying to become more disciplined in other areas of my life, like the whole diet and exercise area. i officially started getting in shape for my wedding this morning. the goal is to lose 20 lbs by about the middle of september and then keep it off until the wedding. i had my last official pig out this weekend by going down to phoenix and hanging out with some awesome friends, and then when i got back to las vegas i pigged out at smashburger (soooo good, but definitely not good for you). then i got some sleep, woke up early this morning and ran a mile and did some situps and pushups and spent some time in the Word with God. i realized how out of shape i was today, both physically and spiritually, but i feel like good things are on the horizon.

oh, and life is going great. i got to go to PHX this weekend and hang with good friends Blake and Jenny Sab, Jakey Jakey make no mistakey Carlson, Daniel O-Face Offield, future friend Jackie-Jack Mitchell and my old friend Dirty Dustin Hunt. Also got to see an old mentor in ministry in Cody and am really excited for all of the things God is using my friends and mentors for in the lives of students in PHX. i have 3 more weeks here in Vegas, weird. a little over one week from now and my parents will be here to visit for a few days, and then after that Candice is coming to see where i've been this summer and what i've been doing! then we will pack up all my stuff and make the long journey on the yellow brick road back to kansas. i'm excited to get back home, but sad to leave the ministry going on here at Canyon Ridge.

God is on the move people, i'm excited to be along for the ride.

feeling unpatriotic

2010-07-04T12:30:00.001-07:00

today is the 4th of July, and patriotic is the last word you could to describe how I feel today.

i am back home and that is oh so good. this week back at home came at just the right time, i absolutely love where i'm at this summer in las vegas getting to meet the people i have met and be a part of what God is doing at the church i'm working at, but it was so good to see some familiar faces. whether its been spending time with my family, watching two of the best people i know get married to each other, FINALLY getting to spend some quality time with my smokin hot fiance whom I miss very much, or catching up and hanging out with a lot of my closest friends, this has been an amazing way to recharge and prepare for what God is going to do with the rest of my summer when i go back tomorrow.

but i went to church and there was a big extravaganza to celebrate the 4th of july and i just wasn't feeling it. i don't know if being in a completely different culture changed my perspective on stuff like this or what, but forgive me if i care a little bit more about my allegiance to God than my allegiance to the country i live in. don't get me wrong, i do feel incredibly blessed to live in this country. but when we gather in our churches to pray that God would allow this nation to be Christian again and that it would just happen instantly while we sit in our comfortable churches while people are hurting and in need of hope. i look at the life of Christ, and don't see how this all adds up.

God, tear down the walls of our churches, and allow us to boldly go out and actually do something good in Your name so Your Kingdom can continue to grow here on this earth. give us a spirit of boldness to do amazing things. amen.

it's all about perspective

2010-06-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

the more i get plugged into this ministry and seeing how things are done, its really interesting to me how many times i realize how different this is from the way ministry is done back home, and even more interesting is when i realize how different this is from when i was a student in a youth ministry.

for example. yesterday i was helping get people signed up last minute for our week of camp that CIY comes and puts on at Canyon Ridge. i had a mother come up and tell me with tears in her eyes that her oldest daughter needed to go to camp to get her mind off the fact that her dad (aka this woman's husband) just walked out on the family 4 days before this. and because of this, the mother wouldn't be able to pay anything for her daughter to be able to go to camp. we were able to help out and give this girl a full scholarship to come to camp. this was a really awesome thing to be able to give this woman some hope knowing that her daughter could come and be loved on during this week of camp, but the more i thought about it, this was a different perspective that i'm not used to seeing. i've always seen it from the daughter's side at CIY when she might get up during youth group time and open herself up to her brothers and sisters in Christ to share the hurt that she is going through, but i've never seen it from the side of the parent who was looking to us to be Christ to her and her family and help her daughter the opportunity to encounter God during this week of camp.

i've also been thinking a lot about what I want my future ministry with students to look like. i'm sick and tired of seeing students who don't think they can make a difference in this world because they are, "just a teenager." i feel this strong desire to help students realize the power they have to go above and beyond the expectations that society has placed upon them to do amazing things for Christ and His Kingdom. i see students stepping up and meeting the needs of the people around them and extending the love of Christ to the least of these in their world. i have a hard time with the fact that most of the time when people gather to come to a worship service they come at it with a mentality of, "what can i get out of this service?" when ideally i would love to see people gathering at a worship service to admire and worship God for who He is and what He has done and is doing in our lives and saying, "now how can we go and impact the world and bring justice and hope to those who don't know Christ?"

sorry for the quick vision-cast...but i think God is transforming my heart more and more to want to see this happen in whatever ministry i'm a part of.

"instead let there be flood of justice, an endless procession of righteous living."

update

2010-06-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

this is the last day of my weekend before the work week starts again (my internship is awesome and my weekend is monday and tuesday) and so i thought I would do an update for anyone who actually reads this on life in las vegas.

when looking back at it, last week was a pretty rough week. overall, pretty good at church, but the loss of my old friend max and the loss of $300 out of my bank account which someone else decided they needed much more than me. someone got my credit card information and bought almost $300 worth of stuff from amazon.com. i have no idea how they got it, but let me tell you folks..."identity theft is not a joke! it affects millions of people every year" (thank you dwight schrute). luckily i have gotten the money back but it was a pretty sucky thing to have to deal with.

other than that, i've been getting used to things around here. my internship has been going really well. i preached last week in middle school and high school and will get the opportunity to teach quite a bit this summer. i'm looking forward to this because it will be the most i've ever preached consistantly. i'm also learning a lot about how ministry is done in another culture here in this country. and it's really opened my eyes to how adaptable we need to be in ministry while remaining rooted in truth. i have no idea where God will lead candice and i in ministry, but experiences like this get me excited for where He will take us.

the other big thing i've been getting used to is having my two days off during the week. since we work on saturday and sunday, my "weekend" is on monday and tuesday. its really great because its on these days that it still really feels like summer. i get to sleep in and recharge from the week, but its on these days when i've done most of my exploring in las vegas. but i made a decision today. tuesdays are going to be my reading days by the pool. i went and layed out (i realize how fruity this sounds) by the pool and read about 75 pages while taking breaks in between chapters to hop in for a swim to cool off. this way i kill 3 birds with one stone. i get to utilize having a pool at the house i'm living at this summer, i get tan (which i've always enjoyed being), and i get to do something that i like doing (reading) that i've never really taken the time to do. i've got a short reading list prepared...but i'm taking suggestions. today i re-started jesus of suburbia which tries to answer the question of, have we tried to tame and water-down the message and teachings of jesus to fit the cushy lifestyle we want? next i want to re-read mere christianity by c.s. lewis. then after that i'm open to whatever...so soundoff and let me know what you think.

so that's where i'm at...i miss kansas, the fiance, the fam, and the friends, but i'm having fun out here and growing a lot.

goodbye old friend

2010-06-01T15:09:00.001-07:00

saying goodbye isn't something that is easy to do. we say it a lot when we know we'll see someone again, but when you really say goodbye, it is so final and permanent.

today i lost a good friend and loyal companion when my dog Max died today. i know this sounds kinda ridiculous to be upset over a dog dying, but when you lose something that's been a part of your life for over 15 years, its pretty hard. i remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten one day to surprise me by driving out to augusta to the farm where we got him. i remember playing in the backyard with him, with him chasing me around and nipping at my heels (like any good sheepdog would), i remember him running around in circles in the house when he got all excited (before we put hardwood floor down in the house), i remember if i ever wanted him to do anything, he would only do it for a piece of cheese, and i remember how he used to always sleep next to my bed when i was a kid. i remember driving around with my dad all afternoon one time when he ran away and then we found him just sitting in someone's front yard and i was so excited to find him. and even when i went to college, he still got excited whenever i came home.

i don't think about loyalty much, but when i do now...i'll think of Max and how he was the probably the best dog a kid could ask for.

r.i.p Max...love ya buddy

preconcieved notions

2010-05-24T09:48:00.001-07:00

i have been in vegas for 2 days now, and so far it has been absolutely fantastic.

i have received many texts or facebook chats asking the typical, "oh how is sin city?" or "does what happen in vegas, stay in vegas?" and truth be told it all seems kind of ridiculous. i have spent 98% of the time with the amazing finch family who is letting me live with them for the summer, and I have visited the church I am interning at for the summer, and that's about it. i haven't gone around exploring yet (which I plan to do today), but from what I can tell from the family that I live with is that this is a large city where life doesn't revolve around the "vegas/sin city" lifestyle that is typically thought of when referring to las vegas. i asked tom (the dad), if they ever go downtown or to the strip much, and he said that maybe once a year or so they go down there, but mainly just to show guests or visitors around the city.

i don't really know what else to say about this, i just think it's really funny how one specific area of a huge city, defines the culture here and everyone involved.

(i'll post more after my adventures today)

so the strip was cool. i just walked around a lot and checked out all of the major points and basically played the role of a tourist. i can understand how an area like the strip could be the identity of this entire city, but its basically a huge tourist trap, and i'm not really sure how many locals just go down to the strip to hang out...because it is insane. the thing i realized about that whole scene is that everybody is trying to sell an experience to you. whether its the people giving away coupons and free passes to restaurants and night clubs or all of the flashy advertising. this made me think a lot about the church culture that we are a part of today. we get so wrapped up in trying to make Christ and church this big flashy experience that we don't want people to forget. when in all reality Christ is not a mere product or experience we can sell to people, but rather He is the one pursuing us. i'm not sure if any of this makes much sense, but its something that i started thinking about during my time on the strip today.

i start the internship tomorrow, and i'm super pumped.

finals week

2010-05-12T00:16:00.000-07:00

i have IBS. irregular blogging syndrome. <----- I thought that was really funny

this week is finals week, and truth be told I care way too much about spending time with people that I will not see all summer to worry about studying for finals, taking time to come up with "creative" projects, finishing homework assignments, writing papers, and finishing my junior year.

this is why I've gone to java more than radina's this week --- because I know I'll run into friends at java that I can chat with so i don't have to worry about doing homework.

this is why I'm writing this blog post at 2:16 in the morning --- because the rest of my night has been spent with people that I like a lot. whether it was at my house for BBQ Tuesday, or at java, or hanging out in the infamous johnson hall, i have been a very social being today.

this is why I'm sleeping in johnson hall on my friends' couch --- because i wanted to hang out with them and watch dumb youtube videos while attempting to finish assignments that are due at 8:30 in the morning.

this is why I'm going to The K tomorrow with the boys to go watch the Royals ---and on the way to and from the game, i'll be writing my final paper of the year that is due the very next morning.

i love college.

on another note, i'm very very excited for my summer in las vegas. i now have a very vague idea of what is going to happen this summer and i'm ecstatic. it sounds like i have a legit host family, legit people i'll be working with, and it is a completely new atmosphere that i have never set foot in.

on another note, i have an incredible fiance whom I will miss very very much this summer, and i should probably be spending more time with her this week. i'm going to do something nice for her this week. if you read this before the end of this week and see me, i want you to ask me if i did that nice thing for Candice that I talked about in my blog.

anywho...i'm gonna cram for a quiz i get to take at 10:30....out.

conundrum...i need your help

2010-04-12T07:32:00.001-07:00

Here's the deal.

I have a hole right in the crotchal region of my favorite jeans. When I am standing up, it's not noticeable, but when I sit down it does this.

I'm kind of torn (pun intended) on what to do, because these are my favorite pair of jeans. They fit perfectly, and I just like them a lot.

So to see if anyone still reads this, I want opinions on what to do about these jeans.

Should I:

Throw them away?
Get them fixed (I don't know how to fix these?)
Just let it go....?

I'm also posting this with ulterior motives. I'm starting to lose faith in blogging and I really need some feedback.

So hopefully I hear from you because I don't want my last post to be one containing a picture of my crotch.

community

2010-04-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

I would love to say that I gave up blogging for lent, but that's just not true. I just haven't posted in forever...again.

Anyways, this week has been really great, and it's only Thursday. I got to spend this last weekend at home with the fam for easter and it was really good to start celebrating holidays with my family, and my soon-to-be family (in-laws). I know that Candice and I have been together for over 5 1/2 years now, and I absolutely adore her entire family, but we never have really celebrated holidays together, and this weekend was a great reminder of the family that I can't wait to be a part of. I also got to spend some time catching up with some friends that I haven't seen in quite some time. It's crazy how we all end up in different places doing different things with our lives, but I love knowing that if I come home for a holiday or something, there is always an opportunity to connect with these people who impacted my life in a huge way

Then I came back home to Manhattan, and things have just been really good. Spending lots of time with the fiance this week so far, and also just being around everyone else I love and just being together has been really great. Our house has been criticized by some for our lack of party hosting, and so in an effort to redeem ourselves before the school year is out we have officially started BBQ Tuesdays at the Himes House. For our inaugural Tuesday, Benny made the best burgers in Manhattan, and a lot of really amazing people that I really enjoy being around came over and the best part of the whole day...was it was incredibly beautiful outside.

PTL for warm weather, sunshine, good food and friends. So if you are reading this, please come over next Tuesday, good times are sure to come.

The rest of this week includes minimal homework and class, even more time spent with the beautiful fiance, and Saturday I'm going to The K for the first time this season to enjoy some time with my boys in Royal blue.

yes, amen, and everything in between.

sitting/waiting/complacency

2010-02-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

why do we sit and watch when we know terrible things are happening in this world?

why does our own comfort take precedent over the needs of others who are hurting?

why do we wait for, "the right moment" to do something we know God is calling us to move into action for?

where has our sense of urgency gone?

i read about how this body known as the church came to be, and i see this body known as the church now...and something doesn't add up.

" I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were one or the other" (emphasis added)

here is our example: "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness the prisoners... " (emphasis added)

i pray that this can become my heart....and everything I do is a genuine overflow of this.

"we love because He first loved us"

these are my obsessions....(my twist on the famous idea brought to you by the musical genius...Usher)

2010-02-23T07:43:00.000-08:00

it's almost march when means a few things:
- my day of birth is nigh (all presents will be welcomed and accepted before and after march 1)
- whenever the sun comes out....there is actually a better chance that it will stay out.
- the half-way point of the semester is almost here meaning i'm that much closer to my final year of college and that much closer to the day when I get to watch the most beautiful woman in the world walk down the aisle toward me and from that day forward i'll get to spend the rest of my entire life with here.

but as of right now my life is quickly starting to be consumed by some obsessions.

spring training has officially begun which has sent my obsession with the Kansas City Royals into a vortex which has become pretty consuming (i realize how ridiculous this sounds....and i don't care). i can barely get online without checking various websites to see what the latest updates out of camp are. the start of a new season is really exciting because a new spring brings a new sense of hope. a hope that this year will finally be the year that all of the pieces of the puzzle come together and the Royals will find success. soon enough me and some close friends who happen to share this obsession with me will be making the pilgrimage to sunny arizona to catch some rays, create some memories, and more importantly watch our beloved Royals in spring training. we will spend hours upon hours at the stadium tailgating, watching batting practice, watching games, scouting out the team for this season, meeting players and coaches, and just having a great time following the greatest baseball team in the land. level of obsession = off the charts (i realize how idiotic and stupid this may sound to some...but as i said before....i don't really care.)

a new obsession has slowly started in my life thanks to the encouragement of my incredible fiance. i have started the timely process of watching this fantastic story called LOST. for the longest time i thought this show sounded really awesome but i never got into it because i always heard, "you have to have seen the show from the beginning to understand what's going on." this always deterred me from watching the show. my wonderful fiance has recently started disappearing more and more to watch this show and so in an order to better relate to her (kidding) i wanted to start watching too. so i started from the beginning literally 2 days ago and i have watched 6 episodes already and i feel like i am planning my schedule (i.e. when i do my homework, how much time i spend with people, etc.) around how many episodes of LOST i can watch that day. such a great story, and even though it can be really annoying, i love how new twists to the story come up like every 15 minutes...this show is the definition of suspenseful.

anyways...that's me right now.

4:19 and mint medley herb tea

2010-02-08T02:19:00.000-08:00

it's 4:19 am...and i'm awake....and blogging.

ever since I got the flu a few weeks ago I have had this nagging cough. my throat doesn't hurt or anything like that and I feel completely fine, i just get these weird itch/tickle feelings in the back of my throat and can't stop coughing for a while. tonight it hit me in the middle of the night and i couldn't fall asleep without having to cough again. so i got up out of bed to see if that would help, and it kind of did, but just in case i decided to make a cup of

this stuff is really tasty and I think it does help with the aforementioned itch/tickle. but while i drink this cup of deliciousness - i am updating my blog, listening to boyz II men, and trying to figure out what to spend my last, $2.17 of iTunes gift card money on.

i have a feeling this hour long break from my sleep will come back to bite me in the rear later today, whether its at work or in my 3 hour night class...but for now...i'm ok with it, mainly because i got a decent blog post about nothing out of it.

changes...perseverance

2010-02-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

well...once again I have executed a hiatus from this blog that has lasted entirely too long. and luckily for the throngs of people that read this, a really good friend (http://becomingless-ht.blogspot.com/) has encouraged me to get back into, but not really for anyone particular but more for myself.

changes...since the last time i posted, a pretty major life change has taken place. proverbs 13:12 says,"hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life," and i have been hoping for the longest time now that i could start the next chapter in my life her, and after 5 years of absolute amazingness with the most incredible person I know (http://candicelewis.blogspot.com/), i asked her if she would be ok with spending the rest of her life with me...and she said yes! dating her has been one of the most incredible journeys i have ever been on, and ican't wait to continue this journey and share everything with her. i love her.

perseverance...with that being said, i am learning the importance of perseverance in everything i do. it would be really easy (like incredibly, ridiculously easy) for me to stop everything i'm doing or everything that i've been working for and just sit around and do nothing and wait for the next phase of my life to start, but I feel like that's pretty irresponsible. i've got so much going on right now, balancing 20 hours of class, work, and trying to invest time in the relationships that I have, it would be very easy to just put that on hold and take a nice break. but i've been put where i am at in this moment of my life for a reason, and i'm trying to persevere as best as i can. luckily i've got people all around me that make this really easy to keep pressing on.

so, hopefully i can be a little more consistent in writing my thoughts out, and i'll end by saying that im very excited to see what God has in store for me next.

here is a challenging/convicting thought that i've been wrestling with today that i read in mere christianity: but i'd like to see what some of you think or how this challenges you in your life: "And the more we have it(pride or self-conceit) ourselves, the more we dislike it in others."

(aka - this might just give you a little chance to shoutout and say...hey eric...glad you're back and blogging...lol)

too long...

2009-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

it's been too long since I've posted.

i don't have much to say other than the fact that Christmas is nigh (i think that is a fancy way to say near) and this can only make me happy. people usually are in a better mood around this time of year and for good reason. i really want to have all my friends over sometime soon for a big christmas "family" dinner before we all head home to our families for christmas break. that is by far the best part of Christmas; sharing time with the people you love and remembering how good God is for sending us, "sweet 8 pound, 6 ounce baby jesus." (yes i referenced talladega nights).

everyone, i'm sorry i ruined your lives and and i'm sorry that i crammed 11 cookies into the VCR -elf

merry christmas.

hypocrites, sons of hell, blind guides, brood of vipers, whitewashed tombs...etcetera, etcetera

2009-10-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

over the last few weeks i have heard a certain adjective several times, that i haven't heard much before and every time i have heard it i have been stirred but i wasn't really sure why. it's been brought up many times over the last few weeks when talking about approaches and philosophies of ministry, and i was still unsure as to why it was stirring me so much.

the names in the title of this post are all names that Christ used in referring to the pharisees during His ministry. at first i thought maybe the reason i was stirred so much by this word and these names that Christ used, was the fact that what Christ was saying to these people was so bold. my Jesus, my Christ had the stones to call these "religious leaders" hypocrites, vipers, and sons of hell. i thought, 'geez, what a beast."

but i heard this word again today and i realized why this word, 'pharisaic," struck a chord so deep inside of me. i think its because i hear Jesus tell these pharisees why they are hypocrites, vipers, or sons of hell, and i realize that i see a lot of the pharisees actions in myself and in my own life.

i have to apologize. i'm a judger. truth be told, whether i have a close relationship with you or if i barely know you, i've probably judged you unfairly. and when i hear Jesus refer to these men as hypocrites, vipers, or sons of hell, i realize that these names refer just as much to my behavior as they did to the pharisees. i am just as much of a hypocrite, a viper, or a son of hell because i claim to be one who is showing Christ's love to others, when more often than not i judge those different from me.

sorry if this is a downer and depressing, its just what i've been learning, and hopefully growing from.

goal: "But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." - 1 Timothy 6:11

europa

2009-09-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

part of me wishes that every once in a while the world would reward you with some vacation time or some kind of a reward.

for example:

i was thinking last night about how much i would like to go back to europe again. i feel really lucky that i got the opportunity to go when i was younger, but something tells me as a 14 year old kid i didn't totally appreciate everything that europe had to offer.

i went to the netherlands right before my freshman year of high school with a soccer team to play in a really prestigious youth soccer tournament. we played a lot of soccer while i was there, and i did a lot of the typical stuff that you do in the netherlands: went to a big fancy art museum (Rijksmuseum - www.rijksmuseum.nl), went to a really famous historical museum (Anne Frank House - www.annefrank.org), ate a lot of good food, saw some soccer (Ajax is beastly), and saw some windmills and ate some cheese.

this was all great but like i said before, i don't think i really appreciated it as much as i could have. i would love to go back again sometime soon and experience more. more countries, more culture, more fun.

but then i stop daydreaming and get back to reality, and realize that i have a year and a half of school left and no money....and i'm ok with that.

life goal: put as many stamps in my passport as I can.

future

2009-09-09T06:42:00.001-07:00

I am bombarded with the future. Day after day I am confronted with it, when to be honest, I would much rather just be living in the now.

E.g. - I just finished an awesome summer with the Dream Team and I already have to try and figure out what I'm doing next summer for my DFE.

E.g. - It's been this way for a while, but I can't seem to go a whole day without being asked when a certain question will be popped.

E.g. - People are already wanting to know what my plans are after graduation, FREAKING 2 YEARS FROM NOW.

I understand that it is foolish to totally ignore the future and be unaware of things that are yet to come, but I am really in love with this right now, "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." - James 4:14-15

I pray that today and tomorrow and the next day that I never for a second forget the fact that this life is nothing compared to the greatness of eternity with my Father in heaven. If the Lord wills, I will live and do this or that, go here or there, and do it all to His glory.

cheers

2009-08-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

oh manhattan, its been too long...but you are so worth the wait.

so i've been back in the hat for about a week and a half and its been good. i live in a house now and i like it a lot. i miss being around all the guys in the dorms all the time, but i really like the guys i live with too. i even kinda like doing some of the tedious things about living on my own, like making my own meals and doing the dishes and some of that grown up stuff...for now.

class started today and i think its gonna be an interesting year. it will be challenging but it will be good, and 17 hours will keep me plenty busy.

but of course, the thing that makes this place so great has been catching up with everybody. after seeing each other for the first time for the summer and asking, "oh hey, how was your summer?" it seems like these relationships were never really put on pause, which is a good feeling.

i can't wait to get back into the routine of things and continue to allow myself for God to challenge and use me in new ways this year.

so manhattan, here's to you and another great year

the road...8/8

2009-08-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

this post has been a long time in the making now...sorry for the delay.

NYR (whip-crack) with the Norton crew and Kev-bot was absolutely awesome. Despite the lack of cold-weather clothing and all the rain and sleeping in my wet clothes every night...it was a fantastic week. We got to do a ton of different stuff, like for example, the first day before the conference really got started we got to go to Elitch Gardens which is like the big amusement park in Denver and we got to ride rollercoasters all day. then everyday after that we would go to the main session of NYR (whip-crack) in the morning and the evening. But instead of going to the classes and doing organized rec and stuff at NYR (whip-crack), the youth group from Norton went into Denver everyday to work at the salvation army with all the little chonchos from inner city Denver. It was so awesome to not only get the opportunity to do ministry with Mike and Cody from Norton, but to step back and watch his kids serve others was really cool. These kids were so great and have such awesome potential to do great things for God's kingdom. They're the best...yeah Norton!

But now my Camp Team summer with the Dream Team is now complete, this is a very bittersweet feeling. I have learned so much this summer, whether it was about God, myself, ministry, or any other thing we came across this summer it was definitely one of the most rewarding experiences of my entire life. One thing that is totally evident (and totally obvious) is that God was definitely the mastermind and architect behind all of this. Whether its the amazing team that He put together, the path that He laid out for us, the people that we got to meet, or the experiences we got to have...it's so awesome to look back at all the different things that happened this summer and say, "Only a wonderful and mighty God could've done this."

The biggest lesson I learned this summer: you have to be intentional. I have no idea what this life holds for me, I could die 50 or 60 years from now of old age, or I could die tomorrow. We don't know what this life has in store for us and if we sit around and don't take the time to be intentional and real with the people we know and do life with or even with people that we may meet just once, we could be wasting precious opportunities to be building relationships that will glorify God and His kingdom.

Now it's back to living life in Manhattan and so far I've loved all of it. The house = awesome, and catching up with friends I haven't seen all summer = even more awesome. But i do miss the Dream Team and can't wait for us to be reunited so soon!

DreamTeam4L

the road...7/8 (written 7/25)

2009-07-31T19:21:00.001-07:00

Week 7 = By far the hardest and most frustrating week of the entire summer.

On so many different levels, this camp just was so draining emotionally, and it was a huge test of our patience (we failed in that a few times).

I’ve never been around so many kids who have been through so much crap in their lives. It became apparent throughout the week that there are so many reasons why some people should never have children. These kids had been through broken home after broken home, these kids had been beaten, these kids had been molested, and these kids had been through hell and back. No kid should ever have to go through that. The most frustrating thing about this, was that the way the camp was run, these kids didn’t have a whole lot of opportunities to encounter God and experience the love of Christ because the camp was directed more towards kids that have been going to church and have a relationship with Christ, so those kids could grow in their faith instead of being able to show the kids who are hurting, the love of Christ. Every camp we have been at has done a great job of being able to do both…not so much this week.

The cool thing about this week was getting to sit back and watch my team step in and minister to the kids who were hurting, we all had kids in our group that had never been shown love before and to be able to open up the Bible and show them who Christ is and that His love is so amazing and never ending was a pretty awesome experience.

Despite all the frustrations and disappointments of this week, this was probably the best week for our team. Despite the bad things and our horrible attitudes…God still used us in huge ways. Whether it was teaching kids that they can make a difference in this world, leading a group of kids into worship, or showing kids what Godly love looks like…God used us so much. And because of all the frustrating things that happened we were able to grow closer as a team through prayer, venting sessions, mcdonald’s trips after the pool, and the infamous van-times. God put this team together for a reason…and I thank Him so much for allowing me to be surrounded by such awesome people all summer. Dreamteam4L

As I write this…Kevbot and I are on our way to Colorado with a youth group from Norton, KS to go to Nationwide Youth Roundup (Whip-Crack). This week should be pretty sweet…actually camping, being in the mountains, hanging with a small group of kids instead of an entire camp full of kids, serving people every day in a huge city (Denver) and being at a huge conference. Sounds like a you-bet situation.

And if you can’t tell from the above picture, I haven’t shaved in about a week and a half….i’m gonna ride this out for the rest of this week and see what happens. I haven’t gone this long for quite a while (that’s what she said).

Next Up: Nationwide Youth Roundup (Whip-Crack) w/ Norton Christian Church – Sedalia/Denver, CO (Final Week of Camp Team Summer 2009)

the road...6/8

2009-07-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

week 6 is officially complete which means i have 2 more weeks of camp and i'm done.

one word to describe this = bittersweet. i've had an incredible time getting the chance to love on kids and grow closer and closer with the people on my team and see how ministry is done in so many different ways and i'm not sure i'm ready for all that to end. but on the other hand i'm getting to the point where i'm ready for something familiar again. i write this in my favorite coffee shop in manhattan where everything feels familiar and i'm ready to be back here doing life with all my friends again. so with only 2 weeks left...the feeling is definitely bittersweet.

this last week of Senior High 2 was awesome. our deans were great, got to see some familiar faces and got to meet some awesome kids who were ready and willing to run after God with everything they have. particularly my favorite part of the week would have to be hanging out with a group of guys who are really talented and I can tell these guys are gonna use their gifts to help extend the kingdom of God in great ways. these guys were probably the coolest i've gotten to hang with all summer and i have a feeling i'll be hanging with them again sometime soon.

gotta love team tongie

anyways...2 weeks left and only 1 more week with the entire dream team (sad).

next week: Week 7 - Nebowa Christian Camp - Jr. High

the road...5/8

2009-07-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

Week 5: King Solomon Christian Camp - Junior High

Good week.

It was full of many different challenges and new things that I've never got to experience before. I feel like this week was a great week for me and my team because we really got to lean on each other in many different ways. We had kinda forgotten that this week was supposed to be a Junior High week and so we went from having awesome conversations with High School kids all summer to being more like babysitters. Instead of trying to have conversations with High Schoolers to help them realize God's calling for their lives, it seemed like we had to keep kids from throwing rocks at each other during D-Group. But we did have a really great time and it was full of new experiences.

New Experiences: I got to baptize 2 kids this week, led some worship this week, and got to work with an awesome camp team.

Awesome...totally awesome.

One thing I'm consistantly learning this summer is that God continues to clarify His calling for my life. I realize that I have been called to show God's truth to kids and help them realize what a relationship with Him looks like, but he continues to refine that calling to make it more specific which is an awesome affirmation to recieve. If you wanna hear about it, i'd love to tell you.

This weekend was great...got to see the girl. I loved getting to sit and hear all of her stories about how God is moving in her life. The most attractive thing about her is her need and dependancy on God. I love that she needs God so much more than she will ever need me. That's something that is contagious and I know that that need for God is something that she is showing to kids at camp all summer long. I love her so much.

Next Up: Week 6 -King Solomon Christian Camp - Senior High

the road...4/8

2009-07-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

summer = half over. weird.

week 4 was so awesome. i hadn't been to a CIY since I graduated high school in 07 and to be honest I really didn't think I missed it that much. but then I got there and saw all the familiar faces from westlink and i realized how much I did miss it. even though I really don't know as many kids as I used to, I really enjoyed getting to see how much the kids that were freshmen and sophomores when I graduated have grown up since I left. I really enjoyed co-leading a d-group of graduates. even though I'm only like 2 or 3 years older than some of those kids, I really appreciated the encouragement I recieved from those grads throughout this week.

the other big lesson I learned from this week, I'm doing exactly what God wants me to be doing this summer. as some of you know, earlier this year I was planning on applying for a CIY internship for this summer. but then a good friend of mine gave me a camp team application and said, "just pray about it." next thing ya know I'm in a van with 3 of the most awesome people ever, traveling the country going from camp-to-camp sharing the love of Christ (and MCC) with kids. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be because after being at CIY and seeing what a CIY internship has to offer, I know I wouldn't have gotten the chance to do as much face-to-face ministry with students. God is good like that, I have really enjoyed getting to see him move through my team and I this summer. I can't wait to see what he has in store for the rest of the summer.

Next Up: Week 5 - King Solomon Christian Camp - Sr. High - Solomon, KS

the road...3/8

2009-06-20T00:52:00.000-07:00

week 3 was definitely a new experience in many different ways. 1. this was the first full week that my entire team was together. 2. we had a ton of amazing experiences in our first week togehther...most of which didn't take place at camp. 3. we had a completely different role than any of us were used to 4. and i was challenged in my own faith in many different ways.

1. i love my team. our role at ucyc-forest home/ojai was a lot different (see #3) and we had a lot of down time where we weren't needed to serve or where we could be with students. so we spent a lot of time together as a team. starbucks runs, gas-station/grocery store runs, and some great van time. i loved getting the opportunity to talk and pray with each other to see how God has been moving in our lives this week and especially this summer. God put this team together for a reason, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. dreamteam4L.

2. last friday we drove from pink, OK to gallup, NM...which is about 720 miles. we then drove into PHX to hang out with friends on saturday...about another 323 miles. sunday we drove from phoenix to oak view, CA...about another 448 miles. about 15oo miles in one weekend. and then while there we got a chance to go to the beach which happened to be my first time to the pacific (see above pic). and then today we got to come down and check out LA an all that this huge city has to offer. hollywood, beverly hills, downtown, the projects....everything. it literally feels like a different country here. you can drive one way down sunset boulevard and be in beverly hills, and then drive another 10 minutes on the same road in the opposite direction and be in some of the most dangerous areas in the country. there is no middle class here, which is completely different from what i've grown up knowing most of my life. my favorite part of the day was getting the chance to meet up with karlie. she showed us around and it was just really good to see another familiar face. it's really awesome knowing that some of my friends are making such a huge impact for Christ and His kingdom this summer, and we actually got a chance to see this in action today. here are some pics/video from this week

the most windmills i've ever seen in one place...ever

awesome future mcc stud

some of the awesome staff at week 3...ucyc/forest home-ojai

Optimus Prime...on the side of a building in LA

hollyweird...nacho!!!!

we found a friend in LA!!!!

3. we were thrown for a loop this week because we weren't directly involved with kids a whole lot. we did other support staff type stuff like: leading rec, helping with set-up/tear down, running the words for worship. at first it was really weird, but then i realized how important ministries like this are to kids. this week was all about allowing kids to be discipled by the leaders that they will go home with, not some random camp team member that they will only see for one week out of the summer. at first it really sucked, but i really learned to appreciate this type of ministry.

4. i put God in a box. i have done it pretty much ever since i became a Christ-follower. I figure out the things I want to do, and I hardly ever leave room for God to direct me in these decisions. when i look at these decisions, this doesn't make any sense, because when I have fully surrendered to God in my life, he has provided and its been awesome.

i also have realized how much I don't allow myself to be stretched. i put myself in comfortable situations way too often. i set my mind on something I want to do because it seems comfortable, and I rarely am willing to put myself out there with nothing but faith and say, "God, here I am, send me." i want to open myself up more to God and His will for my life.

Thought-Provoking Statement from camp this summer: "How can I say I love a God that I visibly can't see, but when I visibly see real people in need, showing them love is the last thing I want to do."

People are hurting, and I believe that God wants us(me especially) to get out there and love those who are being neglected. I'm not sure what this looks like yet, but I can't wait to see how God opens up doors for this to happen.

next up: Week 4 - Christ in Youth MOVE Summer Conference in Durango, CO. I'm really excited to be back at CIY with the WCC bunch and see some more familiar faces.

the road...2/8

2009-06-14T05:30:00.000-07:00

as I write this, I am literally on the road driving into Arizona for the day on our way out to another camp, except this one is in sunny California. Don’t get me wrong, our two weeks in Oklahoma (despite the fact that Oklahoma is one of the worst states ever) were great, but something about going to a camp that is literally 20 minutes from the beach….gets me pretty excited. And the dream team is reunited and loving the van. Whether its playing every single get-to-know-you game there is, or telling awesome stories from our first two weeks of camp, or listening to Jessie tell us everything she knows about dinosaurs and Indians, this is awesome.

Camp Sooner Senior High Week 2 = Amazing. Best week so far. Awesome deans, awesome kids, awesome fun. I saw God work through these kids, and through Kev and I in so many awesome ways. One morning I was brushing my teeth, and I just prayed for God to tear down the walls. Walls that I was putting up, walls that the kids in my family group were putting up, walls that we all were putting up. And then I saw it happen. I don’t even remember what I said to my group that day, because God was speaking through me. The kids in my family group shared all of their joys, struggles, doubts, praises, everything, and we all grew really close together through this. And then in worship that same night, I saw these same kids fully surrender to God in worship and they allowed God to break them. It was incredible, and so affirming to what God has called me to do with my life. Awesome.

“Let us acknowledge the Lord;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises, he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.”
-Hosea 6:3

Next Up: UCYC Senior High at Forest Home - Ojai Valley in Oak View, CA.

the road...1/8

2009-06-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

my goal for this summer is to blog once a week about what has happened during my summer on camp team. i really think i can do this one, because since i got home for my first break i've been on the computer quite a bit checking emails, facebook, skyping, and catching up with the world.

week 1 = camp sooner senior high week in tecumseh/pink, OK

what an awesome/amazing/challenging/week. we started off leaving manhattan early sunday morning and the dream team set sail in the van for our first week. we were united for the first 3 hours before we dropped off the girls for senior high week at Prairie View. i can tell from those first few hours together as a team that we are gonna have an awesome/hilarious/random/amazing summer together. i learned so much about my team members in those first few hours in the van, that I know we are gonna be pretty tight after this summer.
we dropped the girls off, and kev and i ventured into red dirt country to Camp Sooner. This place was pretty awesome. We were so excited and anxious just not really knowing what to expect from our first week, but we quickly adjusted and had an amazing time. we did the camp thing and had a blast, but as usual my favorite part was the people.

my awesome family group

sethariah (aka...seth)(i want him to come to MCC....it'll happen)

camp teamers from other Bible Colleges

i'm gonna try and take more pictures and keep putting them up with these posts.

anyways. learned lesson # 1: God is HUGE....i am not. God is moving all around us, and most of the time we are so infatuated with our small lives that we hardly ever see how God is moving all around us. i almost feel like i've gotten so caught up with my small life that I've forgotten of the huge and great love that God has for me. i don't want this. i want the love that God drenches me in to be contagious to others. and not just the people that are easy for me to love. i want to spread this love to those who nobody else will love. nobody is undeserving of God's love, and I need to start living a life that reflects that I have been changed by this amazing love.

"Teach me Your way, O Lord;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God
with all my heart,
And will glorify your name forever.
For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delieverd my soul from
the depths of Sheol."
-Psalm 86:11-14

Next Up: week 2- camp sooner - senior high in tecumseh/pink, OK

2 Down...

2009-05-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am officially finished with my Sophomore year of college. Weird....but cool.

I haven't blogged in forever, not because there hasn't been the time, but I feel like I really have been trying to enjoy the company of other people as much as possible. I have grown so much closer with some awesome people this year. Relationships have started and grown much deeper than I ever could have imagined, with people that I never would have imagined having relationships with. It's things like this that make summer hard. Realizing that some friends are moving on to a new phase in their lives and that I probably won't see them for a really long time, is something that's really hard to grasp for me. Or being away from some of my closest friends for the summer is something that I know I will definitely miss and struggle with at times, but I know one thing. And that is that each and every one of these relationships have helped me grow as a person tremendously, and the absence of these relationships for a summer (or longer) will only continue to help stretch me and help me grow as a person.

There are a few things that will be coming up soon that will be huge firsts in my life.

Like spending my first summer away from home. Granted I will have a few stops back in wichita, but for the most part I will be gone out on the road with 3 awesome people getting to serve kids all over the country and hopefully making a positive impact on their lives. I'm really excited for the opportunities that my team and I will have this summer. DreamTeam4L

Or spending an entire summer without the girl. This one is hard, because I don't think we have ever gone more than a couple of weeks without talking to each other (whether face-to-face or by phone). Even though it will definitely suck at times, it's really comforting and reassuring to know that the reason we will be separated this summer, is because we are both pursuing and following after something that God has called us to do in our lives. She is so great, and I just love her a lot.

And when the summer comes to an end, I will have my own home. Yes, Ben, Benny, Zach, Otto, and myself will be embarking on the wonderful journey of home-renting next year and I'm really excited. It will be so great to finally have a place of my own and it will be awesome getting to share it with some solid guys. I really have enjoyed living in Johnson Hall over these last two years. I loved the relationships and the camaraderie that took place between such solid men, but I am sooooooo ready to get out of that building. And the relationships can and will still definitely happen, I will just have a different place to sleep, a place that's much newer and much nicer...please feel free to come over to 2436 Himes Rd. whenever you feel like it. We would be more than happy to have you over.

Flight Thoughts

2009-04-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the middle of the Orlando Airport about to head back to Kansas. Sometimes it still baffles my mind that I am able to get on a large bird-like machine that is capable of literally flying, and can get me 1800 some miles across the country within a matter of a couple hours. Amazing.

(Get on Plane)

Just got up in the air a while ago, I’ve had really bad sinuses throughout this trip and it kinda sucks being this high up in the air when your ears are plugged up, ouch. I hope I don’t have the Swine Flu (I doubt it). I wonder what its like being a pilot, you get to go all these cool places but probably never get a chance to really experience each place, and you probably don’t see your family too often. Sucky. I’m sitting on the aisle seat and I am getting bumped on the arm by a stewardess/flight attendant or someone on their way to the bathroom, literally every 5 minutes…annoying

Growth -I know I haven’t posted in forever, but the thoughts have still been there. I can’t believe I’m almost halfway done with college. I feel like I’m becoming a grown up, parts of this I’m ok with and other parts I’m not. I still feel like I’m pretty good at being a dumb kid and I’m not totally sure I want to give that up.

Passion- I’d like to think that I’m a very passionate person. I’ve always had the philosophy that if you do something, you should do it with passion, because if you can be passionate at something, even if it’s something you aren’t that good at, you can still be very effective. But I think there are definitely things in this life that we get passionate about that shouldn’t effect our passion for God. I feel like this has happened in my life, and I really want to just fall on my face before God and leave it all up to Him again. Nothing else should be receiving the passion in my life that I should be directing towards God.

People- Ironically enough, this is my 2nd biggest passion. I simply can’t get enough of all of you people. Whether I love spend hours of time with you, or I can’t stand being around you for more than 5 minutes. It’s what I feel I’m called to do, is build relationships, and do this to build up God’s kingdom. So whether you are the girl, my family, my best friend, my brotherhood, or the sisters I never had, or the people that I rarely spend a whole lot of time with, you’re important to me and I’m so glad to have you in my life some how.

I wonder if anybody actually buys the things in the SkyMall magazines? Somebody reads through it and decides, “you know, my life really can’t go on without having a litter box for my cat that I can hide on the inside of a potted plant for 150 bucks,” Or ,” I could really use a motion activated camera that will take pictures of birds that fly through my yard (even though there are probably 5 different kinds of birds that fly through my yard). Oh perfect for the low, low price of $199.00 I can have it!” ------------ I really don’t like the materialistic society we live in.

spring hiatus

2009-03-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Just like the season of spring has taken a hiatus with the unexpected snowstorm that we had this weekend, I have also taken a hiatus from the blog world, and in that time I have left the realm of teenagerdom, done a ton of absolutely not a whole lot, and made my 1st ever pilgramage down to PHX for some Royals Spring Training and hanging out with some pretty awesome people (oh and I got strep, but I'd like to forget that part).

Sooooo, i'm 20 now. I don't feel any different. And considering that people have been confusing me for being older than I really am for quite sometime now, I think I have felt like I was no longer a teenager for quite sometime. But i really don't want to be. I still want to be a kid, quite a bit actually. I really hope that people don't look at me and think, "oh, there's the old boring guy." Instead I hope people can still look at me and say, "there is the young vibrant, fun to be around guy."

Spring Break. So great. I really like PHX. I like that it is warm and great for a good part of the year (even though it may be a blazing inferno for 4 or 5 months). I think my favorite part of the trip, besides catching up with some good friends that I hadn't seen in entirely too long, and watching the most quality baseball team in the majors, would have to have been the roadtrip.

I love a good roadtrip. I love planning out the route and figuring out the best way to get there, and then getting a chance to talk with the people you go with for a good 17 hours and stopping in little po-dunk towns that smell like manure (but not for too long), and I love the anticipation that comes with each mile marker you pass, knowing that you are that much closer to your final destination (i'm really excited about my job for this summer after saying this). If i could take some of my most favorite people with me, I think an ideal career would be to live the lifestyle of a trucker. Driving back and forth across the country, getting to stop in all the interesting places and meet all of the interesting people this country has to offer. That would be awesome. However, truckers usually travel alone and don't get to enjoy their destinations for too long, instead they unload/reload and head to their next destination, sucky.

Bottom line = I want to see the world. I want to go all over the world to see what this crazy place called earth has to offer.

Anyone wanna come?

crash

2009-03-02T19:43:00.001-08:00

I just got back from Rad's and for the first time I think maybe ever, I started and finished a book all in the same night. Ironically enough this was a book that I had started about 6 or 7 times since the beginning of my Sophomore year of high school but have never been able to finish. This book is very motivating, and very challenging. It made me think a lot about what drives me in my faith. Basically, I have concluded that I never want to strive for comfort or civility again, because that's not what we were created for. Here are a few things that really struck me as I read the book.

"Anyone who chooses the barbarian way will learn quickly that love and sacrifice cannot be separated. This is perhaps why so many of uswho know love fear love. We know that love is not the absence of pain. If anything, love is the promise of pain. No one has loved more deeply than God. Has anyone ever been more betrayed? God would not know suffering if He did not know love. But because He is Love, He chose to suffer on our behalf. Without love there is no glory in suffering.
The suffering of Christ glorifies God because it elevates love. Compelled by love, God would go where He knew suffering was certain. Love always moves us to sacrifice, which is exactly where He calls us to go... If we are to be like Him, we must always risk for love." <--- This is worth pursuing.

"The more civilized we seem to become, the more detached from the pain of others we end up finding ourselves. The most civilized churches have really no practical concern for people outside their congregations. The brokenness of a lost and unbelieving world is not enough to inspire the painful changes necessary to make the church relevant to the world in which we live."

Let's not be civilized.

wednesday

2009-02-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

I love days like today.

Today has been good. Went through the normal routine to get ready and had all my morning classes which went well and especially this week has been great in class because I really don't have any homework (i know by saying this, most people who are buried in their senior intergreation papers might hate me). And it is absolutely beautiful outside and anytime I have been outside today, it has made me wish it would be exactly like today everyday for the rest of my life. Ok...maybe not...i do actually like the cold and the white stuff.

This afternoon was phenomenal, I spent some time playing the six-string, read, and just relaxed for a while, and I was super excited because the Royals started their spring training games this afternoon and even though they are getting pounded in their first game as I write this, the fact that Spring Training is here is a sign of better things that are to come, like: Nice Weather, Royals Games, Spring Break, Summer Break, Suntans, Flip-Flops, Swimming, QuikTrip, Happy Hour Runs at Sonic, and many many more things.

Speaking of Happy Hour, Candice and I went to Sonic this afternoon and got some drinks and we went to the park and walked and talked about anything and everything. Like why our favorite movies are our favorite movies, or why I don't like cereal, and why she doesn't like eggs (but still eats them occasionally). We talked about my past, she talked about her past. Literally we talked about anything and everything and this all took place on a playground I might add. I really don't know who would care to know any of this other than Candice or myself, but I don't care because I had a great time and I just like her a whole lot :)

But now, I must get back to reality which includes night class tonight, and somehow I'm ok with all this, because this day was great...and I know more days like this will come.

Don't Tread On Us

2009-02-12T08:49:00.000-08:00

I love soccer. Always have, always will. Even since I have stopped playing I still love following my teams. Manchester United, KC Wizards, Ajax, the old Wichita Wings...I love em all. But nothing compares to watching the US Men's National Team. I remember watching this team play in the 1994 World Cup when I was 5 years old, and I have supported this team through great times (1994 - Making it past group play for the 1st time in years, 2002 World Cup Quarterfinals) and the bad times (1998 World Cup, taking dead last, and 2006 when we didn't make it out of the group of death). I remember during the 2002 World Cup staying up until 6:00 AM that summer watching the US play live all the way across the world in South Korea and Japan. I love watching this team because I feel like I have been right along side them for the last 13 years.

The thing that I love about soccer and the US Men's National Team is the pride and the passion. Soccer is so much different on the international level compared to other sports, because for most players, playing for your country is more important than playing for your professional club team. And the passion of this team is always culminated in the games between our rivals to the south, Mexico. US -Mexico games are always the most physical and the most dramatic, and the best part is...we have dominating them for the last 10 years at home. We have won 9 times, Tied twice, and haven't lost once.

Last night the US took care of business again and beat Mexico 2-0 and it was awesome.

And Mexico continues to be the worst losers ever as showcased by their assistant coach last night who slapped US defender Frankie Hedjuk in the face in the tunnel following the game (http://www.univision.com/content/videoplayer.jhtml?cid=1835856).

I feel like this young US Team is gonna turn some heads in South Africa next summer.
Don't Tread On the Red, White, and Blue.

Friday

2009-01-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

Today has been one of the better fridays in a long time. Best thing about it is that I predicted it.
Before i went to sleep last night, I told some guys that today was gonna be a fantastic day.

I woke up and found out my first class was cancelled and my second class had already been cancelled earlier in the week. So instead of going to class, I had some great fellowship time at Rad's with two people that I love and respect a lot. This time really encouraged me and got me excited for today, this next week, the rest of the semester, and the next year.

I really enjoy it when the people that are close to me, get real and intentional with me, because it encourages me a lot and I hope that it does the same for others when I do the same for them.

I hope your Friday is just as fantastic as mine has already been, and it's only 11:00 AM.

Coffee Talk

2009-01-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

Blog, it's been too long. I'm sorry. I'm not as faithful to you as I should be. Since we last met, all this has happened:

Christmas.
New Year.
Drove/Roadtripped a little over 2300 miles in a span of 9 days.
Got a Haircut
Bought the new Kanye West CD
Entered the Wonderful World of Renting.

Some of these things were very exciting...others pretty normal/boring.

Espresso makes me think. I sit here at my favorite coffeeshop in the whole world and I find myself reflecting, pondering, dreaming, listening, and mostly procrastinating. I love it when I make myself come here to work on stuff or read and I basically get lost in the atmosphere and I space off and do things like this. It's relaxing. I sit here and listen to the two people discussing politics and it makes me wonder what this world would be like if we weren't so wrapped up in our political factions and instead centered our identity on the things that matter eternally. I sit here and listen to two people having a conversation in a completely different language and it makes me realize that this world is so much bigger than what we tend to limit it to. I hear a song come on and it reminds of the moment when I realized just how huge and big God really is and I smile and long for moments like this to happen more often.

I love it the most when I come here and reflect on how my life is going and God challenges me to think about what I am doing to make a difference for His kingdom. Most of the time this brings disappointment because I realize that I am living my life selfishly, but it also brings optimism because I realize that there are opportunities all around to impact this world for the kingdom of Christ. I also am challenged to look in and see what I need to change; look up and see how big and great God really is; and then look out to see how I can impact the kingdom.

yeah...i like it here.

American Consumerism At It's Finest

2008-11-28T12:12:00.000-08:00

Seriously???

Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down
By COLLEEN LONG, Associated Press Writer Colleen Long, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK – A worker was killed in the crush Friday after a throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains burst through the doors at a suburban Wal-Mart, authorities said.
At least four other people were injured, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island was closed.
Wal-Mart Stores Inc. in Bentonville, Ark., called the incident a "tragic situation" and said the employee came from a temporary agency and was doing maintenance work at the store.
"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," co-worker Jimmy Overby, 43, told the Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too. I literally had to fight people off my back."
Nassau County police said the 34-year-old worker was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead at about 6 a.m. The man's name was not released and the cause of death was not immediately known.
A police statement said shortly after the store's 5 a.m. opening time, shoppers "physically broke down the doors, knocking (the worker) to the ground."
A metal portion of the door was crumpled like an accordion.
Shoppers around the country lined up early outside stores in the annual bargain hunting ritual known as Black Friday. Many stores open early and stay open late, and some of the most dramatic bargains are available in limited quantities.
Among the bargains offered by Wal-Mart for Friday were Samsung 50-inch high definition Plasma TVs for less than $800.
Witnesses told the Daily News that before the store was closed, eager shoppers streamed past emergency crews as they worked furiously to save the worker's life.
"They were working on him, but you could see he was dead," said Halcyon Alexander, 29. "People were still coming through."
A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital for observation, and she and the unborn baby were both reported to be OK, said Sgt. Anthony Repalone, a Nassau County police spokesman. Four or five other people suffered minor injuries, he said.
Ellen Davis, a spokeswoman at National Retail Federation, said the group knew of no other incident where a retail employee has died working on the day after Thanksgiving.
Wal-Mart is working closely with police, company spokesman Dan Fogleman said.
"The safety and security of our customers and associates is our top priority," Fogleman said. "Our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families at this difficult time."

Is this what we have come to?

Literally killing someone in order to get the best possible deal on a flat-screen TV? Breaking down the doors of a store and trampling people just to feed this idea in our heads that we really need all of this stuff (and that we have to get it as cheap as possible) to be happy and to fulfill our lives? Walking by someone lying dead on the ground to go find the best black friday bargains?

This makes me sick to my stomach everytime I read it.

There are times that I really can't stand this society where I see that people's happiness is dependant on what material things they do and do not have, and this is definitely one of those times.

....

2008-11-10T17:59:00.001-08:00

blog, it's been too long and i'm sorry.

i see so much good surrounding me. daily i'm consumed with the love and friendship of those closest to me. this is great. I just cannot get enough of these relationships which I continue to pour myself into.

yet i continue to ignore the people that I hardly know that are going through so much heartache and hurt in their lives.

the greatness of my friendships is a great thing to have, but i need to start getting away from the comfortable and put others first before my own happiness.

let's go to hale

2008-09-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

tonight was the first night of the year that was spent doing obscene amounts of homework, and doing obscene amounts of screwing off at the infamous hale library.

bottom line = finished a huge paper, did some walking around to see other friends that happened to be studying, screwing off with some of my closest peeps on the third floor of hale while trying to actually do homework, translating verses from greek to english, running, jumping, watching my roomate dance on a study table with plenty of other people around to see, whispering, laughing hysterically, good times.

and to top it all off, the hardcore ones that are still here as i type this, we came up with the bright idea to go to IHOP after everyone is done.

i love college.

p.s. - we just found a racquetball and it is a definite sign that this amount of fun was never meant to be had in a library.

me

2008-09-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have been so convicted lately of me. In saying that, I have been realizing that I am very focused on me. I love people, but do I really care about them? I'd like to think that I do, but a lot of my actions are very "me-centered." There have been many things lately that I have been convicted of, and I really want to change these things, and all it would take to change these things is me getting out of my comfort zone and letting go of myself and just doing it. I keep getting encouraged by other people to do things that will help other people grow or help myself grow closer to God, and I keep letting me get in the way of things.

Basically...i need to step out of my comfort zone, man up, and start thinking about other people so I don't bring me any more glory. I want to turn that around and lift that up to God.

relational

2008-09-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

Wow...it has been entirely too long. I suck but life has just been going way too fast lately probably because I am having way too much fun right now.

Since I last wrote: I went to PHX and hung out in the desert for a few days with one of my best buds and did tons of fun stuff. Then I got to come back to one of the greatest places on earth, Manhattan. Getting to spend tons of time with great friends and spent plenty of time making new friends.

This last month has been such a reminder that we are relational beings. We were not meant to do this life alone. I realize this more and more as I spend time with my family, my girl, my best friends, and while spending a ton of time making new friends and building new relationships. I love just investing time in people and getting to know them better and growing together in Christ. I just don't know what else to say other than that.

You bet.

the bright sadness

2008-07-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

"The bright sadness is the acceptance of the brokenness
in myself and the world around me
but always intertwining the overarching thought
of Christ's closeness,
His free fellowship,
His redemption and compassion,
...His brightness."

I really like this, this was written by Charlie Hall and it is also the title of his new album coming out soon. Just the thought of accepting how broken and messed up the world is, and how messed up I am and bringing that thought together with the thought of Christ and how close He truly is. This is worth following after with my life.

Summer = Almost over. I'm excited and ready for a new year filled with old and new friends and new challenges. But i'm kinda gonna miss my job, i liked it a lot. But i'm more excited for school to start. So a few trips including a road trip on friday to KC to see a friend get married and another trip to PHX for a few days to just go somewhere different and catch up with friends....yes please.

why soccer players are awesome

2008-07-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

Found this story, thought it was funny.

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) - An American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Oklahoma City Friday after a passenger stripped, put his clothes back on and then tried to open an emergency exit door before being subdued by members of the New England Revolution Major League Soccer team on board, the FBI said.Members of the Revolution helped grab the man near an exit door and tie wraps were placed on his wrists, FBI spokesman Gary Johnson said. The man, whose name was not immediately released, was taken off the flight in Oklahoma City and was undergoing mental evaluation, Johnson said.Three members of the Revolution staff Michael Burns (Vice President of Player Personnel), Craig Tornberg (General Manager and Vice President of Business Development) and Gwynne Williams (Goalkeepers Coach) - along with another passenger who were all seated near the individual, immediately moved in to action to restrain the him and return him to his seat so that flight personnel could secure him with temporary handcuffs in his seat. At that time, the pilot announced that the plane would be making an emergency landing in Oklahoma City.The trouble began when a man on the flight emerged from a bathroom without his clothes on, Johnson said.

"He was asked to go back to the bathroom to put his clothes on and he did and went back to his seat and then allegedly attempted to open an aircraft emergency exit door," Johnson said.
Player Chris Albright describes the scene aboard an American Airlines flight, en route from Boston to Los Angeles, when a man emerged, naked, from a lavatory and had to be subdued by members of the New England Revolution Major League Soccer team, after arrival at Los Angeles International Airport Friday, July 18, 2008. (AP Photo/Reed Saxon)"Members of the Major League Soccer team, the New England Revolution, were on the flight. They were able to subdue him," he said.American Flight 725, a Boeing 757, arrived in Oklahoma City at 1:35 p.m. CDT and was back in the air an hour later on the way to Los Angeles, said Tim Smith, a spokesman for American AirlinesWhile no Revolution players were involved in the incident with the passenger, the team was traveling 18 players to Los Angeles for its SuperLiga 2008 group play match against Chivas USA on Sunday, July 20, in Fullerton, Calif. The majority of the players were seated in the rear of the plane, away from the incident. The travel party, including all staff, was 26 people.The Revolution play Chivas USA in a third-round SuperLiga match in Los Angeles on Sunday.

shock

2008-07-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

basically this week has been crazy....

day camp = taking care of screaming 4th and 5th grade boys who have to be told to do something 100 times before they even think about doing it. (oh yeah, and there is the part where i teach them about jesus too). i've also been kinda sick lately which i think should be disallowed during the summer. i should be able to be outside freely and enjoy the sunshine without having to hack up a lung at the same time. and the time has officially come to say goodbye to the black dragon. my jeep grand cherokee is slowly dying and costing us a small fortune in gas and so the time has come to get a new car, which we did tonight. i'm really excited to have a nice, new car that will be reliable and fuel-efficient. but at the same time i got even more culture shock as i drove around tonight showing my new car to my friends. 1 month ago i was in Ghana, Africa and my new car could easily pay for a few wells to be put in the village where we served. that's hard to think about. i'm not really sure how to get my mind around this one.

on a happy note, the black dragon will not have to be stripped for parts, hopefully it will ride again freely in the arms of a new owner who wants to fix it's transmission.

(long live the Black Dragon)

like a child

2008-06-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

"I tell you the truth anyone who will not recieve the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Luke 18:17

I have heard this quite a few times before, but it has become so much more real to me over the last month. In Ghana the kids that we worked with there had nothing, yet they kept searching after God with everything. They wanted to learn so much more from us about who God is because they know that He is the only one that can bring them hope from their despair. I want that. I want to be able to fully rely on God with everything I have.

My job this summer is awesome, i get to play sports with kids and teach them more about Christ. Some of the kids have never even heard of Christ before, but some of them are so eager to learn more about Him. Some of the coolest conversations I have ever had took place this week with 4th graders. One of these conversations was talking with a boy about how to surrender to Christ as His Savior. He might not have totally understood everything about it, but he was so eager to accept this Jesus who wiped away all of his sins. And then a few more really cool conversations came with some other 4th and 5th graders who have already accepted Christ and they wanted to know what the next step they could take to be even more obedient to Christ. It was awesome and totally affirming to what God has called me to do with my life.

creepy

2008-06-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

ok....so last night i'm up late watching tv because I wasn't tired at all and i flipped to vh1. they were playing music videos and a video came on and i started listening and watching only to find out that the New Kids on the Block have resurrected their musical career with a new single called, "Summertime."

The Weird/Creepy Part:
These guys are old! After a little wikiResearch i found out the oldest member of the New Kids on the Block is almost 40, and the youngest member is 35. In the video they shot for, "Summertime" they are walking around on the beach with girls that are like 20. And they are walking on the beach in like white linen pants like a cuban cigar salesman.

I just thought this was really creepy and weird, but if they can still make millions of dollars as a boy band made up of 40 year olds, more power to them.

Enjoy the creepiness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25qiZy7vmqY

back from africa

2008-06-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

i've been back from ghana for about a week now, and i'm kinda wishing that people would just now want to start knowing about my trip instead of asking me the minute i got off the plane. i say that because i am just now starting to fully fathom what happened.

basically, God is absolutely huge. so big that i know i still cannot comprehend it. but to think that He created every single person that was on my team with me including myself, and that He also created every single Ghanian person that we came in contact with while we were there. And He brought all of us together from different sides of the globe and we gave God all the gloryfor all of this by singing, shouting, and most of all dancing in pure adoration of Him who did all of this. this brought tears to my eyes to know that the same huge God that did all of that, also provided rescue and reconciliation for everything I have done and will do wrong in this life.

the kids in the village sang a song to us a lot while we were there, and it probably impacted just as much as any other song ever has. it simply says, "my God is a very very big God, and He is by my side by my side, my God is a very very big God."

i don't think i will ever forget the faces of the kids there. i will never forget driving into the village and seeing the kids' faces that were so sad light up at the site of our bus and watching them chase our bus until we came to a stop. and i will never forget as we left the village and my little buddy michael running to the side of the road and giving me the pound it sign as we drove by. even if it was only for a little while, it makes me really happy to know that we showed the people of Akpale, Ghana who Christ is through our actions during our time there.

summer

2008-05-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

well, i'm gonna start journaling/blogging again, i haven't done this consistently since xanga...and i think i just needed a fresh start.

anyways....it's summer. this one is a lot different compared to summer's past. Ironically enough, i've mainly been hanging out with people from manhattan that are in wichita so far. I need to change this because i really missed a lot of my friends from home over this past year and i should take advantage of being in wichita for 3 months to spend time with old friends from home.

the biggest part of this summer is coming up in 6 days. I am going to Africa for two weeks this next thursday the 29th. It still doesn't feel like we should be leaving in 6 days, but the more planning we do and the more that date keeps creeping up on the calendar, I get really excited. About a year and a half ago I sat on an ikea couch in a very large basement of a very large convention center in Atlanta, GA (at Passion '07). I sat down with my friends that I had gone with after just visiting several booths which talked about the tremendous need in Africa. I had just been awakened to the fact of the tremendous need that there was in Africa. Need for water, need for health care, but the biggest thing that I remembered was the need for Christ. An entire continent forgotten by the people that should be showing the people of Africa the hands and feet of Jesus. I knew I had to do something, and here I am; 6 days away from getting on a plane and flying to Accra, Ghana and showing these people who Christ is.

i'm ready.

-eric